My life has been turned upside down with the mom thing....I love being able to spend quality time with her but its not without it's complications. My sis and bro are reading these so I need to let them know that it's going alright for us, my sis was right in bringing me down to Arizona from Utah. Not a big leap, it's all desert and I love the palms....

     It's 1am and I'm wide awake. My mom wanders out of her room every hour to eat or drink. I feel bad cuz she doesn't sleep well and she tries so hard but the sleep meds get her into a confused, dementia state. It's weird. I take sleep meds along with antidepressants and I get along without side effects. Side effects from meds suck. Period. It's not fun and can take years to get the right combination for the disease. My mom is just starting out with the med thing, blood thinners, fluid removers (Lasix) and pain meds (Hydrocodone).

      I have an intestinal disease and have had my stomach removed and have a feeding tube. It's no big thing now but man did it mess me up for a long time, physically and emotionally. My mom has a bad heart and she won't admit or show it but it scares her. I hate to say or think it but the doc out here doesn't give her a lot of hope because mom turned off half her pacemaker. It would shock her and scare the hell out of her. She couldn't take it so she opted out. She has a bump under her skin above her breast. I used to have a bump also. It was a vein feeder called a port. I took mine out but it doesn't have the dire consequences  that my mom faces without her bump working at full force.

     Well, I'm getting sleepy and need to lie down but I think it's the worry over my mom that keeps me burning the midnite oil. I know cliché, ho hum but am tired. Breathe.....