Oct. 15th-

     Now I am at the hospital with mom, in the ER, waiting to see if they admit her or not. They'd better! She needs to get her edema(fluid retention) under control, even if just for awhile. The cardiologists' (heart doc) nurse told me that mom would be admitted, but of course the docs inhouse want to decide! I'm tired and getting cranky and can raise holy hell when need be. Admit her and let's get a move on this. I know "medical speak" and have been where my mom's at too many times and know the drill. Let's go! I want to go home and relax and sleep. Tried eating but it just made me sick!(nausea and pain) I want to go home and mom needs to eat and sleep.

      My sis is "MIA" getting ready for a trip. I'm taking her to the airport tomorrow. Yeah, leave me here with all this going on!  But once again, I'll survive. I need sis here so I can go up to Utah and see my docs, get meds and a new feeding tube (it's getting loose, the bile eats away at the "balloon" and it gets to the point where any pull on it causes it to pull out and I hate rushing to the ER to get a new one put in).

      Okay, where's the freakin' doc?! Let's get mom in a room and me home in bed. It's 1am and have been here since 5pm! Heeellooooooooo?!


Oct. 16th-


     Never thought this would ever happen, but I'm spending the nite in the hospital without needing to be here. Yeah, it's mom, I think she likes having me here especially overnite. She has even offered me her pancakes in the am! Well, she has a lung biopsy first thing in the morning. Man, that can't be a fun procedure'! I've had had plenty of procedures, enough to last several lifetimes! Remarkably, I've been pretty stable now just got to get mom to that point!(doc's and me will get her there!)

      Been having intense ups and downs in my life lately. Yeah, there's a guy but have to keep it under wraps around mom. She has enough to worry about-there's her ailing heart and now the possibility of cancer. Her lympth nodes are swollen and her white blood count is high. Damn, just what she doesn't need! The nurse gave her a sleep aid but I doubt she'll sleep through the night. Hospitals are not known for having comfy sleeping arrangements. Nurses in and out taking blood pressures' and blood. The  phlebotomists or "vampires" taking blood and leaving huge bruises!

      Ooops, I catch myself dozing. Guess I'm going to lie down on the "Pull-out couch" and see if I can sleep. If not, I'll run home soon. It's 11pm. 'Cuz of menopause I'm staying up later and need less sleep, so it seems that they go hand in hand. Good or bad? I'm not sure. Well, later....