Oh man...Now mom wants to leave and go back to St Louis and she wants to know where I'm going to go 'cuz she's not happy with the doctor here and after moving my whole life down here she's bailing without me of course!! Excuse me?!! I immediately called sis and she talked to mom and then said to me, "she's just going through one of her freak outs so bear with it she's not going anywhere."
     
     See my mom wants to, YES I said wants to, go INTO the hospital to get rid of her edema once and for all. Well she's got to realize that she's always going to have edema because of her ailing heart. DENIAL! Yeah I've been there and back again. I remember my denial and fighting the docs and everyone. Doesn't do one any good and just hurts the patient themselves. So anyway, sis says call the doc in the am and let them put her in the hospital to appease her. Like me she has to realize she has a lifelong chronic condition and it won't just disappear, going into the hospital is only a temporary fix.

      As I sit here writing this she is reading the medical book and pill book saying she knows what's best. Well like my main doc said to me, "where's your medical degree Karen? Exactly...." Been there where my mom's at but can't tell her anything. Yep I was the "expert" at one time too!!! And I to wouldn't listen to anyone especially the docs. That got me "locked up" on the ED floor for 3 miserable weeks! (Eating disorder)! I wouldn't do my feedings and I let everyone know it! Wrong move. I became the model patient after that fiasco!! A story for another time.

      Anyway, my mom is making me crazy and thank goodness for sis who is totally calling the shots (yeah I let her), and says mom's NOT going anywhere so not to sweat it!! Just now, as I'm writing this, she wants to know again where will I go?! Please not again but could I expect any less?! Gotta bear with it.....She has no idea what she's doing or going or saying. She was supposed to fly into St Louis with my sis this week but protests that she too weak to go right now??!! See...!!! Oh man...Alone with mom without sis for a week, greaaaaat!  My sis going to Tennessee to see my bro and my nieces. Lucky!!

      I can do this, I know, but what a pain being on this emotional rollercoaster. I used to love rollercoasters, but no longer, my health couldn't handle them, but my mom, yeah I can do it!! Been there myself and I know, man do I know....