Well, my mom and I went to go see a family doctor 'cuz we needed them for the day to day illnesses and for any referrals we might need. By day to day illnesses I mean everything from flu shots to UTI's(bladder infections). But after running late and getting there late, my mom decided she didn't like the office or girls up front and she decided we should leave and call the doctor my sis's friends recommended. Okay, here we go. We got that number a month or so ago and now she decides she wants to see him instead. Thanks for getting me out of bed and in a rush to the doc's office....Breathe....

     This brings me to the subject of doctors, and what I have written in the past: I'm so fed up with being ill and dealin' with doctors that my therapist(I know another doc) was worried that if something serious would happen, i.e. spiking a temp, that I would not do anything when I should, meaning getting ahold of a doctor, because of my growing disgust with ALL things medical (holds true even today). And I'm tired of waiting on doctors when they should be waiting on me(a two hour wait is nothing for certain docs).

     There are times when doctors/surgeons/therapists aren't so patient and kind. And when nurses aren't always attentive and caring and one wonders why they're in this business in the first place. They'd be better suited behind the lines being a hospital administrator, pushing papers and working the phones. Or there's med school "deaning" or med school president. Also there's researching or classroom professors, anything just so they are as far away as possible from the patient population. When they're good, they're great, God sends. But when they're not....

     And at times, when I'm alone and frustrated, I cry/scream and say I'm never going to another doctor or hospital again. Screw them, I can manage. I don't need them...and not two seconds later, reality, that's not going to happen. Maybe there can be a change in scenery and in doctors, but basically I'm stuck in this world of medicine with a rare, complicated illness, and I need to deal no matter how much I absolutely hate it! Same goes for my mom also!

     On a more positive note, yes you do survive. You do come out the other side, but it's not always pretty, sometimes it can really just plain suck. And even though I appear to be a "trooper" and handling it all so well on the outside, inside I am literally falling apart physically, emotionally and mentally. Still here I am 19 years later still dealing and hanging on. My mom has just started her journey through this medical maze and I wish her all the best and will be here for her as much as I possibly can.